La Nettoyage

Cleaning off the desk top and found these:

Classic

Classic pt. 2

We think this needed a revival.

And in response to Miss. Pellicone's enthousiasm upon discovering she does not actually need to wear a bra: Goddamn you. Girls always talk about wanting bigger breasts... They are high maintenance! They are expensive, irritating, floppy bitches that get in the way of everything. So shut your mouth, Pellicone. Goddamned floozie.

Eli

Evil, Bad, NAUGHTY Lingerie

Ok so we have a bone to pick with Blush Lingerie.

*ehhem*

WHERE do you get off designing lovely lacey corests and then sizing them as a grossely inadequate Small, Medium, or Large? You're corsets have CUPS in them, thus necessiting CUP SIZES. A corset isn't a goddamned t-shirt, and, even though this is something of which you should ALREADY already be aware, breasts come in a multitude of shapes and sizes. We very much doubt that many girls who are a C or more will ever be able to wear your designs. Shameful really, because they look quite lovely on the rack, but apparantly your definition of "large" is something that would barely hold a tangerine. Stop trying to jam the female body into your twisted perception of the average size and shape, you masoginistic perverts. Your company fails at life.

*to understand what we are talking about, take the escalators near the metro entrance up to the third floor in the Bay downtown.*

And now, to continue along this feminist train of thought, here's a lovely nighttime story (as sent to us by mummy dearest):

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: " Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. "

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself:

"I don't fucking think so".

Angry Feminist Eli

You got tagged, downsized and... erm... informed

First item on the agenda:

Don't anybody DARE tag us in those stupid facebook notes about leaving a comment with a memory about someone. Spam and junk is bad enough in our mail box and our inbox; we don't need to be harrased on fucking facebook. GRRRR.

Second Item:

Tis the season to downsize your employees! In two weeks time, we will no longer be working at this insanely huge department store. YAY! Well, not yay because we are loosing hours and others are loosing jobs, but christ it will be good to get out of here.

Third:

a) What the fuck is up with this? Snoop is only getting arrested now? The world has stopped making sense.
b) Continuing with fucked up rapper stories, this is something you'd expect to see on CSI. Don't be disrespectin, yo.
c) Now THIS is the stuff movies are made of. These women are hardcore, way more than stupid rappers who shoot people in the back.

That is all. We are going to the gar bar tonight (the GAY bar, GAY bar!). Wish us luck!

EliEliEli