On All Things Kitchy And Kitcheny...

We do not understand this habit (trend? craze?) of kitchen items that are shaped exactly like their designated use. Observe:
- Garlic pots shaped like a clove of garlic.
- Juicers made to look like lemons or oranges.
- Something called an Avocado Slicer with suspiciously avocado-like colours.

Is this mimicry supposed to be functional, or cute? We can't really see how a garlic pot shaped like a clove of garlic holds more garlic, then, say, a mason jar. And we can safely say that an orange-shaped juicer is not only redundant, but exclusive. Does one need to purchase a different-looking juicer to make lemonade? Do grapefruits get sent to the "back of the bus", so to speak?

Is this instead an economical decision - saving the cost of producing accompanying user instructions? Without the green and yellow colours, would one pick up an avocado slicer and say "what the bleeding holy cannoli does this thing do!!?" Possibly.

Is this simply a new way to trick the consumer into purchasing something "clever"? Or do the designers think such designs are, in fact, clever? Such things are anything but! What, we ask, is creative about a cheese grater shaped like a block of cheese? Not one bleeding thing, that's what.

Upon some intense google-image research, we find that some precious individuals have already moved beyond this cheap mimicry. Behold, a paper-clip heater! A strawberry-shaped mouse! A swan-shaped kettle!

We would like this to be taken one step further. We would like to push past the anarchy of objects-shaped-like-objects-they-are-not, and into the chaos of objects-shaped-like-objects-they-are-absolutely-not. Kettles shaped like toasters! Rolling pins shaped like carving knives! Spatulas shaped like fly-swatters! Can you imagine the hilarity of someone dumping their pasta into a colander, only to realize that they've dumped it into a lettuce spinner SHAPED like a colander? We can, and we want to live in that world. We want our oven to resemble our fridge, and our table to have a fake built-in sink. Brooms should be mops, and mops should be standing lamps, and standing lamps should be painted onto the wall. There is no end to the potential madness once one begins to travel down this glorious path.

Happy New Year everyone. May your days be filled with blissful chaos.

Eli