Hug-A-Harper-ite

Surprisingly, Harper supporters are just like human beings.

This may be difficult to understand, as they possess many negative elements. They get really excited by minuscule tax cuts. They think that building more prisons and imposing mandatory sentencing will reduce crime rates. And they'd rather base their policies on ideology than accurate statistics.

You may ask, how can a beautiful thing like humanity ever be associated with something so warped? So twisted? So evil? No one notices an extra 100$ on their tax return when they need to pay an extra 500$ in tuition/medication/transportation. Everyone understands that mandatory sentencing and prisons are a reactive solution, not preventative. And who doesn't love StatsCan? They make each Canadian feel uniquely relevant!

It's impossible, you must be thinking. No human being could ever support Harper. He is so cruel, so obtuse. So utterly devoid of logic and common sense. And he has beady little eyes.

Ah, but here's the thing. Just because we human beings have been blessed with a beating heart does not mean we should fault those who were born without.

Thus, I am proposing that each one of you seek out and adopt your very own Harper-ite! Show them how their lives can run on warm fuzzy feelings instead of cold bitter rage. Give them a great big hug and tell them "I know there's a Lefty SOMEwhere deep down in that cavernous shell you call a body."

Who knows? The warmth from your hug just might raise their reptilian body temperatures and bring their humanity out of hibernation.

Then maybe, just maybe, they'll vote Liberal (or NDP/Bloc/Green/Communist-Marxists/Indy/Pot/Rhino/etc...)

Eli - proudly supporting A.B.C.